PAM's EMPATHETIC LISTENING CHALLENGE...

HEY MWF'ers...

Just wanted to report back my experience of empathetic listening. I went to dinner with a friend tonight. She had lots to talk about so it was a perfect opportunity for me to implement habit #5.

I think I did an excellent job listening but could not restrain myself from giving advise and interpreting. Arg! However, I felt I was able to give less-autobiographical responses than I usually do. I felt like my efforts paid off despite my lack of restraint because I was able to establish trust between us- something I felt our friendship has been lacking.

Comment on this post and share your experience with EMPATHETIC LISTENING!


pam

Brandon Major

I am an Entrepreneur Major, and my opinion is spelling and saying entrepreneur is two of the hardest things about being one. Also I am married to Brooke, and have been married for a year and a half almost. If you ask me what her last name is then... just don't ask her last name. Someone might make fun of you.
Besides my family, which is extensive (welcome to Utah!), my main passion in life is business. Right now I own a cleaning business which is under construction right now, moving from solely window washing to all residential and commercial cleaning. If it needs to be cleaned, we will know how to clean it. Once I have that under control we will also incorporate maintenance. And eventually become an business that the market will really need in the future. It will be a business where we do ALL the cleaning and maintenance around your business and/or home, that you don't want to do. We make your life full of the things that you want to do by doing all the things that you don't want to do.
I'm goal oriented, driven, friendly, and talkative person.

Hercules Begin with End in Mind

wow sorry I didn't really know how to post a clip so the whole thing showed up. I have been thinking about what we are reading and learning in class a lot about begining with the end in mind because sometimes I am not even sure what I want to accomplish in life. I like how it says in the 7 Habits book, " To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destintation." It all made me think of Hercules because at first he had no direction in his life so he never really accomplished anything great. He was even called a loser but all that changed when he discovered his destintation which gave him the strength to go the distance no matter what got in his way. He had to first begin with the end in mind to reach his full potiential so we have to do that too.
Karen Ungricht

Seek first to understand then to be understood

I love this principle. It is my favorite of all the habits thus far. I love the idea of understanding someone before they can understand you. I think it is genuine and helps people know you care. I love how not listening is referred to as a "disease", because it is just that. It can consume us, and make so focused on ourselves that anything that anyone has to say means nothing. Are we really that good to do that. I think not. I want to become a better listener as well as a better friend. I believe that this habit will help me acheive both of those things.

Mission Statement

The workbook has prodded us to create a personal mission statement. I sat down and began to write long before realizing just how great of an idea it was to do so. It is super nice to have goals, plans, and aspirations out on paper not only because it motivates but also because some of us may find it difficult to sift through everything going on in our heads trying to find what inspires our creativity and work ethic. great assessment to do on your own time for sure.

Golden Goose

As we were discussing in our study group last week, the topic of the Gold giving goose came up, in todays eara there are many cases of people killing the goose way to soon, getting greedy trying to get to the source. The example that comes to mind is many young adults want things imadialtey. Things that are huge investments, such as cars, homes property, things that the parents have, but fail to realize the amount of time and effort it took to obtain such things. The children of those parents jump into debt extremely to fast to sieze the appitete they have for greed and instant satisifcaiton. Instead of waiting day by day for the egg to be produced and have some amount they go to the goose and seeking all get none.

win-win

Over and over again, this book has gotten right on the mark of things that i need to work on. It is crazy how much i needed this lesson. I think all of us have been in a situation in which for some stupid reason, we are not wanting someone to succeed. Or we are hoping that we will be the only ones to succeed. It is sad looking back on those moments, and wondering why you thought that. Sad to think that you were selfish and wouldn't want someone else to be happy. I think it is so cool how this lesson talks about how not only is that wrong, but it is more effective to not do that. It will help you have more success if you think win-win. I love that.
Paul Johnson

Emotional Bank Account

I have learned this lesson since i was young. My mom always taught me that it is harder to get back trust when it's been lost than to just keep it. I agree with that statement. I think it is vital in a relationship to build that "bank account" so you can have a mutual trust. And when something happens in the relationship and that trust goes down, or you "overdraft", i have learned it is vital to reestablish your vision on the relationship and your desires to get back to how things were.
Paul Johnson

The Matrix

I have found how easy it is to get distracted with things in the fourth quadrant. I also how easy it is to become convinced that things in the first and third quadrant are important rather than urgent. Urgency does not mean important. And that is something hard to remember.
As we focus on the things that. Are important, we will be able to plan for them and find the time to do them without having to rush through them from a sense of urgency.

Putting first things first

I have learned a lot about putting first things first. I feel like I had learned this lesson before in my life, but chose not to apply it, which I now regret. I have learned the importance of prioritizing my life and also of making a planner for my week and day. I have started to plan my days and weeks out on my phone. I will follow the plan and am sure I will see results.
Paul Johnson

80th Birthday

I discovered the importance of pursuing a degree and ultimately a career that I am both passionate and excited about. The hard part for me is discovering my passions. In regards to the 80th birthday I realized how much of my life I've focused on things that will have no meaning when my journey on this earth has completed it's course. I am excited to change my focus on a lot of things that i deal with on a day to day basis.

proactive choice

One proactive choice that i made this week was to stay at school to study rather than go home. I feel like it is more confortable at my house. I like it better, but i also know that i work less productively, and therefore made the decision to stay at school. As a result, i got a TON of work done, and am happy with the results. I have made a plan to continue to study at school both tuesdays as well as thursdays. I look forward to the success that will follow.

Aesop's fable

One thing i thought was interesting about the story of the goose was the connection with patience and effectivness. I think that as we are patient, we can achieve the effectivness that we need. We need to work on the P as well as the PC. Take care of both of them. It is a hard balance that we need to figure out.

Principles

I love the thought of principles. I love the thought of working on deeply rooted things inside us that can change us for the better. Honesty, integrity, compassion. As we look at these principles, and all of the other ones that surround our daily lives, we can see what we need to do to become better people.
I love the thought of us changing ourselves, and reaping the fruits of success in life. As we become better, we will become more successful in all aspects of life. This includes relationships, professional/business life, spiritual life, and all others.
Let us all become better, and watch each other reap the fruits of a successful life. And once that happens, let us celebrate each others success.
Paul Johnson

Maturity Continuum

I taught The lesson module 1 to my girlfriend this week. I talked a lot about how there is more to life than appearance. Both physical appearance as well as our mental image of situations, or how situations appear. It is deeper, and we need to start looking at life in that way.
I love this. I feel like we as people are so surface minded. It is a sad thing that needs to change. We spend so much time covering things up rather than looking at principles and changing ourselves. Becoming more independent, and eventually interdependent, this should be our goal.

Group Blog Posting Assignment

Here are the weeks for the Group Assignments:
Each group is to provide a topic conversation for the week that should be posted on this day.
Both Carlie and I have given you an example of what is expected for this assignment. Feel free to be creative and have fun with this assignment.

January 31: MWF Group 1
February 7: TH Group 1, MWF Group 2
February 14: TH Group 2
February 22: MWF Group 3
February 28: TH Group 3
March 7: MWF Group 4, TH Group 4
March 14: MWF Group 5
March 21 TH Group 5
March 28: MWF Group 6
April 4: TH Group 6
April 11: MWF Group 7
April 18 TH Group 7
April 25: MWF Group 8

Choice

Choices define who we are. Everyday we make decisions that influence our actions and, eventually, our destiny. Do we dream big or do we squander our unique gifts and talents? Do we choose to be proactive in working on our goals and dreams, or let life dictate how we dream and live? Are we like a can of shaken soda pop that will explode because of outside influences?

This is a clip from one of my favorite movies. In this movie "The Iron Giant" was programmed to defend himself from external influences by using violence. Sometimes, his programming would take over and he would lose control; however, we can overcome our 'programming' if we choose to do so.

We all get to choose how we respond to life. We all get to choose what things we let fall in our circle of influence and circle of concern.

Socrates once said, "Know thyself." Shakespeare, "To thine own self be true."

Why do you think that taking the time to know ourselves might influence our choices?

How can realizing that we have control of our own lives help us achieve our dreams?

How can this principle be used in your life?

Synergy

Watch the video clip on the Covey Community about Mauritius. What do you think about their culture? Do you know of other places in the world that have intense diversity and peacefully coexist? Janita, who works for the Covey Group, is from Mauritius and is quick to point out that although it's not perfect, the diversity there makes the country what it is.

America is supposed to be the great melting pot of the world. I don't know that that is the best metaphor. In a melting pot, everything bleeds together and it's hard to distinguish one ingredient from another. To me, a lot of the beauty of diversity is the distinguishable differences. What is the better metaphor, the melting pot or the fruit salad (or some other metaphor altogether)?

I am currently taking a class from a professor from Russia. She's worked on teams with people from all over the world. In her experience, at first, people from different countries and backgrounds can often disagree vehemently on issues because of their differences. She noted that after three months, most of the groups worked together well and that no one could remember who came from where anymore; they put aside their differences and created that "third alternative" that Dr. Covey talks about. Have you had an experience like this? Do you think in some situations the diversity runs so deep that synergy simply isn't possible? Or do we just get stuck in our own mindsets and refuse to try hard enough?